My Dearest Jonny,
It doesn't seem like it has been a year. How could it be? We have barely moved since last April, and time should stand still when we lose such an amazing force in our lives. When faced with the passing of the one year mark, I wasn't sure I should say anything. What can I say, but that my heart wakes up every morning and realizes there is a great big hole in it.
But I wanted to show you that we have started to heal too. Maybe only a tiny little bit, but it's a start.
I got to spend some time with your family when we were in the Carolinas last summer. I really wish I lived closer, as it was a beautiful, if short, time we spent in their presence.
Your dad reminds me SO MUCH of you, with that huge grin and natural enthusiasm. He's such a cool guy, and it's no wonder you were such a cool guy too.
Your mom is luminous! She is heartbroken, yet still has such a beautiful caring nature. I could have just lived in the hugs she gives.
And Amauri. Oh how I adore that dear man! I can see why you loved him so much- I love him so much! Sam got to finally meet him, and while it was so hard to know how much sadness he has been through, it was also an incredible moment to see my "better half" meet your "better half"! (All us little old cat collectors got to stick together!)
I wanted to share some photos with you. Photos that show one thing.... that while we may be broken, and at times feel we are beaten, eventually, we'll be alright.....
Because even though the loss of you was the hardest thing ever, it was better to have known you for even a moment, then to have never had those J-shaped footprints across my heart.
All my love,